The Lady Doth Protest Too Much, Methinks!

I have always been a bit suspicious of those that go around complaining a bit too loudly about something that has no effect on their lives. It appears that my suspicions may be well founded. In what the media is framing as a scandel yet another man who spent way too much time complaining about "The Homosexual Agenda" has been caught with his pants down, so to speak. I don't expect everyone to always live up to the ideals that they expound, but please, if you are going to be a public figure and make some position the cornerstone of your life, try to model your actions on that position.

I am no more shocked by the Senator in the restroom than I would be if they caught the head of PETA with a cheeseburger hanging out of his mouth, but at least eating a cheeseburger in public is legal. For some reason the closeted Republicans can't manage to just have a homosexual encounter either, they have to twist it up with something slimy or illegal; propositioning underage pages, sex in public, smoking crack with your long time prostitute trick. I just don't get it. I have been out of the closet for a long time now and had to learn about the secret gay signals for bathroom sex from a conservative, republican, senior citizen, Senator with a wife and a few kids, something is really wrong with that. What makes it even worse is it gives the general public, who may not have met a nice middle class gay man, the impression that we are always up to something really gross. NOT TRUE!! I get up every morning and go about a pretty normal day. I don't hang out in public restrooms, I don't try to pick up children, I don't do drugs, hell I don't even smoke anymore! I live in the typical suburban home with my partner of 11 years and a couple of dogs and a cat.

What amazes me even more is that if in the last year so many homophobic public figures have been caught engaging in activeties that they publically denounce, how many of them are up to the same thing but have enough sense not to get caught? All of them? Are gay men really supposed to be conservative, republicans and I never got the memo? These family values folks really do protest too much!

Musings on Seven Generations

"In our every deliberation, we must consider the impact of our decisions on the next seven generations." An Iroquois belief.

I came down with what I thought was a cold last weekend, turns out that I actually was coming down with pneumonia. I don't really find this surprising as a person that smoked for a very long time. Flu earlier this year, pneumonia now. I guess my lungs are still in the recovery process. I pray that they will heal some day and the damage is not permanent. As I was sitting on my sofa watching "Angel" episodes I noticed the above quote on the tissue box. The tissues are made by 7th generation. One of those companies that actually cares about the environment that sells their products at Whole Foods. I try to shop at Whole Foods when I can. Purchase some organic produce, meats that do not come with a side order of the horror of the commercial slaughterhouse, flowers that last for two weeks instead of two days. I guess I do what I can, when I can. Anyway, the quote got me to thinking. Seven Generations, such a long time to think about. Things seem to be going so horribly wrong that I wonder whether my generation will make it through the things that we are doing. I pray that the "tipping point" is about to happen, that awareness will arise spontaneously that we cannot continue to gorge ourselves on the fruits of the earth without some awareness of what we are doing. I try to be aware. I try to ask myself when I am out in the consumer world the 3 questions 1. Do I have one of these? 2. Do I need one of these? 3. Can I purchase this later? I guess the answer would almost always be no I don't need this now or ever, do I always manage to put whatever it is down and go on about my business? No. Maybe someday. We've all been brought up to equate success with material possessions, consumption, power over others. It is so hard to break away from that world view, yet in the end I guess we all know it is crap! Some of the richest, most famous people in the world seem to be tortured, unhappy souls. We tune in daily to see what horrible self-destructive activities they have been up to and consume their pain like starving dogs. Why do we expose ourselves to such? Why do we watch horror, violence, murder, rape, torture on our TV? Why do we invite such emotions into our lives? If you opened up the door and a murderer was standing there with his victim would you invite him in to put on a show while you ate dinner? No, probably not, but we do the same thing in essence when we turn the TV on and watch and experience the same thing. I realized something a while back. When I meditate I go to a place where my thoughts slow down and if I am having a good session turn off for a while. That is a good thing, reminds me that I am not really my thoughts, that there is an inner essence that is not my thoughts. Guess what happens when I turn on the TV and get absorbed by some horrible show, my thoughts slow down or turn off. I am directly exposing myself to the content of that show. It is like hours of meditation where instead of some inner peace and serenity are aroused in me, violence, pain, and the commercial break of consumerism are being spoon fed to me. What goes for news and entertainment seems to get worse all them time. Our desire to consume seems to get worse all the time. It is like a giant whirlpool that is getting stronger and stronger, adding more people, more negativity, more pain daily on a global level. And what suffers because of this? Everything and everyone. We all feel the pain, the isolation, yet we can't seem to extricate ourselves and say enough is enough. We all seem to have some gigantic hole that we need to stuff full of possessions, food, alcohol, drugs (illegal and legal). Some days I want to vomit it all out. Start fresh. Clean my house and soul. Fill my life with good things and good thoughts. Step out of the whirlpool, grab the hands of my friends and family and say "Hey, lets stop all this madness and see if we can do some good in the world". But it can be so hard to do that. I am going to try harder! Because the whirlpool is so big now that I am scared of what it will be like in two generations, not to mention seven. Namaste